After all, even if you spend hours reading childcare books and participating in online mom and dad communities before having kids, they will still shock you when the time comes to raise them.
Regardless of your degree of expertise, you are still responsible for raising a human being. There is thus no such thing as an excess of parenting advice as a consequence of this phenomenon. At this point, it’s critical to remember that the most effective method to learn is by actually doing it yourself. Much of our culture encourages us to believe that having kids and seeing them grow is one of the most gratifying experiences in life. Having to deal with crazy children every day isn’t easy, as you’ll quickly discover in reality.
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Vicki Broadbent is an author, director, and broadcaster, as well as the creator of the parenting blog Honest Mum. In an interview with Bored Panda, she said that first-time parents should have realistic expectations. Even she had seen her firstborn as a cute little item with which she might play dress-up. However, in fact, all infants are a lot of labor, and she says that even while it is wonderful, raising a baby is also tiresome and exhausting..
The only thing babies do is eat, sleep, and poop during the first few months of their life, according to her. She went on to say that after having a child, you will go through a lot of physical and emotional changes as a mother, and that, together with the lack of sleep, would make things difficult.
You may start preparing for what’s coming even if it’s frightening right now. Furthermore, she recommended creating a parental self-aid kit that included meditation applications for mental and physical health.
In Vicki’s words, all you need is a few simple but powerful mindfulness exercises, a freezer full of nutritious and satisfying meals, and a support network with whom you can rant, weep, and share (both online and offline).
Psychologist Romeo Vitelli, Ph.D., said being a first-time parent may be life-changing for many. It may have an impact on how stressed they are, how happy they are in their relationships, and how emotionally healthy they are.
Together with the financial load that comes with a new kid, new parents frequently face considerable tension between their professional and personal lives, according to him. On top of all that, they understand that being parents comes with a lot of responsibilities.
Fascinating research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology was also highlighted by Vitelli. New mothers and fathers may have difficulties in establishing bonds with their children at times. As the results of the research show, couples that fall into this category experience particularly high levels of stress throughout the process of becoming parents.
They tend to be shy loners who are uncomfortable asking for assistance because of their past bad relationships. Taking care of a baby is especially challenging for them since they dislike being caretakers. Additionally, they are less satisfied with their children than the majority of new parents are with their children. Furthermore, they are more likely to concentrate on their careers while delegating the majority of childcare responsibilities to their spouses or other family members. Gender differences have an important influence on the formation of bonds. As a result, males are more inclined than women to avoid forming attachments.
Constant disagreements are part of parenting. How you deal with them, though, is what’s most important. As a result, although issues may cause discomfort, they also provide a chance to learn and develop.
Philippa Perry, a psychotherapist and author, has published an outstanding popular book called The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did). Vicki Broadbent went on to say that Philippa Perry in her book pushed for parents to understand that their reactions/triggers to their children are often mirrored of events from their own upbringing.
She also stated that by realizing this and practicing self-compassion, you may change your responses to your kids. You will encounter a variety of problems throughout your childhood, according to her but the key is to take a deep breath and respond rather than reacting to them.
Vicki stated that the more you do this, the more you will be able to rewire your brain to respond in a controlled and calm manner. It is something she is continuously working on with her own 11-year-old child, who is going through puberty.
She also holds the view that being nice to yourself will make you a better parent and person in general. Raising children is both a pleasure and a delight, but it comes with a lot of duty as well. Be kind to yourself. There is no such thing as perfect parenting. All you can do is do your best, apologize when you make a mistake, and remain open-minded and empathic throughout the process.